Separation During Holidays – How to Help a Child Cope with Missing Their Parent?

How can you ensure that your child's holiday trip doesn't end with constant phone calls and tears? While not everything can be predicted or avoided, you can work on a few principles to increase the chances that during the next holidays, your child will eagerly ask where they will be going this time.

How to prepare your child for the trip?

It's a good idea to start talking about the trip well in advance, giving your child the chance to emotionally prepare for what is about to happen.

During these discussions, explain to your child where they will be going, with whom, how their day will change, and how they will spend their time. At this stage, avoid discussing any feelings of longing or potential difficulties. Try not to project your own fears and doubts onto your child. The goal of these talks is to instill a sense of security and love in your child and to highlight the positive aspects of the trip. Involving your child in the preparations, such as shopping together, packing, and planning the trip, is a good idea.

How to say goodbye to your child on the day of departure?

On the day of departure, talk to your child about what will happen shortly. Describe how the day will unfold and what its key moments will be (gathering at school or a designated place, meeting with friends or other campers, traveling by bus or train, and arriving at the place where they will soon play and relax). It's helpful to ask questions like what they imagine the destination will be like or what they'll build from sand once they reach the beach. These conversations will spark your child's creativity and draw their attention to the positive aspects of the trip. However, do not dismiss their growing anxiety. It's important for them to feel heard and understood, which will make them feel safer and more easily accept the "new" daily routine.

Although it's not easy, the farewell should be as brief as possible, with a smile and a wish for fun. This way, your child will embark on their journey with joy, not anxiety. Of course, you may have many mixed emotions about your child's departure, but crying in front of them or showing excessive concern can only heighten their own fears.

How to behave during the separation from your child?

After your child leaves, maintaining regular contact is crucial. Sticking to agreed times and schedules for phone or video calls is essential for both the child (so they don't find any excuse to call their parents) and the parents (so they can work peacefully and refrain from calling to express how much they miss their child). It's best to avoid calls in the evening, as the time for winding down and preparing for sleep often leads to tears.

Not all children handle separation from their parents well. Sometimes, despite preparations and the best intentions from caregivers, the child may become apathetic, avoid play, refuse to eat, and even experience stomach aches, vomiting, diarrhea, or constipation. In such cases, it might be best to shorten the trip for their well-being.